non-legalese version

if you upload something illegal, i’ll remove it. if you get caught, that’s your problem, not mine. just don’t upload anything illegal and you’ll be fine

For full legal Terms, refer to the section below, which takes precedence in all cases. This summary shall have no legal effect and is provided for convenience only. In case of any disputes, the full Terms below shall govern.

Terms of Use for v8p.me

Effective Date: January 31, 2025

1. Acceptance of Terms

These Terms of Use (“Terms”) govern your access to and use of v8p.me (“this service”). The terms “I,” “me,” “my,” and “v8p.me” all refer to the operator(s) of this service. By using this service, you agree to these Terms. If you do not agree, do not use this service.

In the unlikely event of a legal dispute, all involved legal representatives at the function must perform a brief celebratory boogie before proceedings commence. While noncompliance shall not affect the case’s validity, it will be considered deeply disappointing.

2. User Responsibilities

You are solely responsible for any files you upload, share, or distribute through this service. You agree not to upload, share, or distribute any content that could be illegal, infringing, harmful, or violates the rights of others. You retain all ownership rights to your uploaded content, but you grant this service a limited right to store and display content as necessary to provide this service.

3. Prohibited Content

You may not upload any content that:

  • Violates any laws or regulations
  • Contains child exploitation material, non-consensual intimate imagery, or other illegal content
  • Infringes on intellectual property rights
  • Contains malware, harmful code, or viruses, including but not limited to trojans, worms, spyware, ransomware, or any other malicious software

4. Disclaimer of Liability

v8p.me is a passive file-hosting service and does not monitor, review, or moderate user-uploaded content. However, upon receiving a valid legal request or becoming aware of a clear violation of these Terms, I may remove content at my discretion. (See 47 U.S. Code § 230 - Protection for private blocking and screening of offensive material) I do not assume responsibility or liability for any user-uploaded files, nor do I endorse or verify their legality or accuracy.

If client-side encryption is used, v8p.me does not have access to files, encryption keys, or passwords. Users are held responsible for securing and retaining access to their stored data. If passwords or encryption keys are lost, I cannot recover your files and cannot be held liable for any resulting loss or damage.

By using this service, you acknowledge that v8p.me is provided “as is” and without warranties of any kind, express or implied. I disclaim all liability for any damages, legal issues, or claims arising from the use, misuse, or unavailability of this service.

5. DMCA & Content Removal

I comply with the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) and will respond to copyright takedown requests. Illegal or infringing content may be removed at my discretion, and repeat offenders may be limited from using this service.

If you believe content on v8p.me infringes on your copyright, please submit a DMCA takedown notice to dmca@v8p.me. Your notice must comply with 17 U.S.C. § 512© and include your contact info, a description of the work, and a good-faith statement that you believe the use is unauthorized.

6. Indemnification

You agree to indemnify and hold harmless v8p.me, its operator(s), and affiliated persons or entities from any claims, damages, or liabilities arising from your use of this service, except to the extent that such claims result from v8p.me’s willful misconduct or gross negligence.

7. Termination & Compliance

I reserve the right to suspend or terminate access to users violating these Terms. I may cooperate with law enforcement or comply with legal requests as necessary.

8. Prohibited Conduct and Security

You agree not to engage in any behavior that attempts to compromise the stability, security, or functionality of v8p.me. This includes, but is not limited to,

  • Attempting to hack, bypass, or otherwise circumvent protections set in place by v8p.me
  • Exploiting vulnerabilities, reverse engineering, or interfering with the normal operation of this service
  • Engaging in activity that could degrade performance for users, including DDoS attacks or excessive automated requests

Any violation of this clause will result in immediate suspension, and I will pursue legal action if necessary.

9. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Wisconsin, without regard to its conflict-of-law principles. Any disputes arising from or related to these Terms or the use of v8p.me shall be resolved exclusively in the state or federal courts located in Wisconsin, and you agree to submit to the personal jurisdiction of such courts.

Humor Disclaimer

The “celebratory boogie” paragraph in Clause 1 (Acceptance of Terms) is purely for humorous purposes, and does not affect the enforceability or legality of the other Terms contained in this document.